Thursday, October 27, 2011
Seeking
Seeking the right words, they sit on the edge of my mind and flit away, like a bird caught in the corner of my eye, but as I turn my head, it's wings carry it away before I even know if I really saw it. Emotions tearing my heart apart as I pray for hope but fear for loss. A child, one of God's beautiful creations, five weeks from taking his first breath, taken, suddenly...without reason, explanation, or comfort. I accepted the honor just moments before, not even 2 days, a breath in God's time, to help guide this little one in the knowledge and truth of his creator's grace. A promise in my heart to love, pray, and protect this child any time he needed me. And in the moment that he was in need the most, there was nothing I could do, nothing anybody could do. And I sit here helpless, remembering the light, joy, and hope this little child brought to those that waited so long for him. I grasp fleetingly at the light as it turns to darkness, sadness, despair. God, grant this little one your grace and mercy, grant those that love him peace and comfort, I pray for him as I promised, I pray for his family as there is nothing else to do.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Okaaaaay
I had an.....interesting, dream last night. There were so many details I remembered and it was SO quirky, I just had to write it out.
Dusk was approaching. My friend Jessica had been giving me reports of this monster buck that lives on her property, and had invited me to come out and shoot it (this part is true, and is what I am guessing spawned the dream). Anyway, it was almost dusk, the sun was going down, there was no wind. My friend, Jessica, and my other friends, Hope and Lisa, were sitting on Jessica's front porch. They each were sitting comfortably in freshly painted white rockers. They held steaming cups of cider that Jess had brewed up and they were wrapped up in blankets that Lisa had knitted. Hope strummed a few notes on her guitar. I headed over to the fence in my camouflage, rifle ready. Lisa "GO get 'em, Big Shot!" Lisa whisper/shouted (this is only possible in a dream, she was whispering so she wouldn't scare the deer, but I clearly heard her from 100 yards away).
I settled in to a little corner between a bush and the fence. Suddenly a large doe approached me, but I was there for the buck, so I didn't take aim. "Are you looking for something?" she said to me. I was a little surprised, but not wanting to miss the opportunity to converse with a deer I told her that I had heard about a buck with big antlers roaming the area. "Oh, well, that might be my son, Spirit, but he should know that it's hunting season, he wouldn't be wearing his antlers right now." Of course, that would be dumb to wear antlers during hunting season, he was probably keeping them on the top shelf of his closet.
Then the doe called up Spirit (such a great deer name, isn't it?). I don't know how she did it, the impression was that it was like calling on a cell phone, but I didn't see her holding one in her hoof. Maybe it was a blue tooth device...."Spirit, honey, there's a nice young lady here wanting to shoot a buck with big antlers, you haven't been wearing yours have you?" I couldn't hear his response...then she said, "NO, no, honey I'm not telling you to put ON your antlers, it's not THAT time yet, I just wanted to be sure you didn't have them...what's that? Joe has been wearing his? He should know better....okay, bye". Joe isn't such a great deer name, but apparently he wasn't very bright as far as deer go if he was wearing his antlers during the "wrong" time.
The doe starts to trot over to my car, "let's go look for him" she says. This seemed perfectly natural, so I followed. She drove up the road to the neighbor's house. "I'm not supposed to hunt here, I don't have permission for this property".
She looks at me with a sideways glance "it's okay, Darlin', you're with me and I'm driving, deer don't have boundaries." So we drive up to the lot and see that something has killed some of the chickens in the coop (this is also an actual fact from my real life, something HAS been killing the neighbors chickens but they don't know what, it's a mystery). Wanting to take advantage of being able to talk to the deer, I decide to try and get some insider knowledge, maybe SHE knows what's been killing the chickens and I can let the owners know. So, tentatively, I say "something's been killing the chickens". She replies, "Yup, sure has, it's a mystery." Uhmmm, okay, I try a different tact, "Well, hasn't any body ASKED the chickens?" She looks at me like I'm crazy, "chickens don't talk". Oh, of course, silly me.
We leave the neighbor's and turn back to Jessica's. As we approach there is a buck and a doe standing at the edge of the trees. He's got a whole bunch of antlers! They look a little strange in the shadows, kind of all bunched up together, so I get closer. The doe tells me this is Joe (dojo?). Upon closer inspection I see that Joe's antlers aren't actually antlers, they are little pine trees. I don't know what to do. He is a BIG buck...kind of stupid looking, but big, lots of meet. These aren't exactly the antlers I was expecting though. I hope the doe can help me make the decision, "So, you would be okay if I killed Joe?" She raises her deery eyebrows, "Oh, please do, he's no good for our species. Besides this way you can have Christmas dinner AND a Christmas tree in one shot!"
And that's where the dream ends.....It was just too strange and had way too many details for me to not share it, so there you go. Thanks for cheering me on, ladies, I hope you enjoyed the show.
Dusk was approaching. My friend Jessica had been giving me reports of this monster buck that lives on her property, and had invited me to come out and shoot it (this part is true, and is what I am guessing spawned the dream). Anyway, it was almost dusk, the sun was going down, there was no wind. My friend, Jessica, and my other friends, Hope and Lisa, were sitting on Jessica's front porch. They each were sitting comfortably in freshly painted white rockers. They held steaming cups of cider that Jess had brewed up and they were wrapped up in blankets that Lisa had knitted. Hope strummed a few notes on her guitar. I headed over to the fence in my camouflage, rifle ready. Lisa "GO get 'em, Big Shot!" Lisa whisper/shouted (this is only possible in a dream, she was whispering so she wouldn't scare the deer, but I clearly heard her from 100 yards away).
I settled in to a little corner between a bush and the fence. Suddenly a large doe approached me, but I was there for the buck, so I didn't take aim. "Are you looking for something?" she said to me. I was a little surprised, but not wanting to miss the opportunity to converse with a deer I told her that I had heard about a buck with big antlers roaming the area. "Oh, well, that might be my son, Spirit, but he should know that it's hunting season, he wouldn't be wearing his antlers right now." Of course, that would be dumb to wear antlers during hunting season, he was probably keeping them on the top shelf of his closet.
Then the doe called up Spirit (such a great deer name, isn't it?). I don't know how she did it, the impression was that it was like calling on a cell phone, but I didn't see her holding one in her hoof. Maybe it was a blue tooth device...."Spirit, honey, there's a nice young lady here wanting to shoot a buck with big antlers, you haven't been wearing yours have you?" I couldn't hear his response...then she said, "NO, no, honey I'm not telling you to put ON your antlers, it's not THAT time yet, I just wanted to be sure you didn't have them...what's that? Joe has been wearing his? He should know better....okay, bye". Joe isn't such a great deer name, but apparently he wasn't very bright as far as deer go if he was wearing his antlers during the "wrong" time.
The doe starts to trot over to my car, "let's go look for him" she says. This seemed perfectly natural, so I followed. She drove up the road to the neighbor's house. "I'm not supposed to hunt here, I don't have permission for this property".
She looks at me with a sideways glance "it's okay, Darlin', you're with me and I'm driving, deer don't have boundaries." So we drive up to the lot and see that something has killed some of the chickens in the coop (this is also an actual fact from my real life, something HAS been killing the neighbors chickens but they don't know what, it's a mystery). Wanting to take advantage of being able to talk to the deer, I decide to try and get some insider knowledge, maybe SHE knows what's been killing the chickens and I can let the owners know. So, tentatively, I say "something's been killing the chickens". She replies, "Yup, sure has, it's a mystery." Uhmmm, okay, I try a different tact, "Well, hasn't any body ASKED the chickens?" She looks at me like I'm crazy, "chickens don't talk". Oh, of course, silly me.
We leave the neighbor's and turn back to Jessica's. As we approach there is a buck and a doe standing at the edge of the trees. He's got a whole bunch of antlers! They look a little strange in the shadows, kind of all bunched up together, so I get closer. The doe tells me this is Joe (dojo?). Upon closer inspection I see that Joe's antlers aren't actually antlers, they are little pine trees. I don't know what to do. He is a BIG buck...kind of stupid looking, but big, lots of meet. These aren't exactly the antlers I was expecting though. I hope the doe can help me make the decision, "So, you would be okay if I killed Joe?" She raises her deery eyebrows, "Oh, please do, he's no good for our species. Besides this way you can have Christmas dinner AND a Christmas tree in one shot!"
And that's where the dream ends.....It was just too strange and had way too many details for me to not share it, so there you go. Thanks for cheering me on, ladies, I hope you enjoyed the show.
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